Ways To Tell Your Marriage Is About To Fail
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Despite many years of studies, experts have not found a single cause for marriages to fail. However, when the failure becomes more pronounced, there are always the expected signs showing up in succession. Because of this fact, experts have made conclusions as to how such signs begin to appear in successive stages.
The experts making the said studies have explained that the earliest symptoms of an unhealthy marriage would be recurring conflicts between husband and wife. Of course, conflicts are quite normal for married couples, even for those who claim to have a blissful relationship. But if these conflicts become too frequent and too serious and, graver problems could emerge. Worse, if they treat such conflicts as petty spats and if they do not make any step in resolving these, the natural consequence would be certainly be separation.
The next batch of signs often occur when either or both husband and wife start to disdain the other, which would naturally lead into unwanted changes in how they treat each other. Generally, married couples always tend to forgive each other’s weaknesses and transgressions, especially since they also see each other’s strengths and positive traits. However, once the transgressions are done repeatedly despite being confronted about it, a spouse may come to realize that the other is a hopeless case.
Married couples, however, must not treat conflicts as the culmination of their romantic partnership. There are quite a number of couples who encounter spats frequently but they still held on to their relationship. What the couples must be watchful about is when hatred begins to grow in the midst of such conflicts. Once couples find this out, they should immediately take steps to save their relationship.
The third stage of a marriage breakdown is characterized by the partner’s increasingly defensive behavior, as a reaction to the stress from all the conflict and contempt existing in the relationship. Men in particular (although women too) get hardened by the consistent ongoing conflict. Overtime, partners will see the pattern of being gird-locked – they expect not to be able to resolve the conflict and instead of facing the problem, they progress into the fourth stage – characterized by a breakdown of basic trust between partners. In this fourth stage, there is already an increasing disengagement in the name of self-protection. This is when partners start to avoid each other just to minimize the conflict. This stage is called “stonewalling”.
Such scenarios are highly possible if romantic pairs do not care to find out about their differences in whatever aspect of life. This can be avoided though if they manage to discover further about their compatibility.
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