True Love Advice About Conflict
Conflict will arise in every love relationship. Instead of trying to never have conflict, instead it is useful to look at how the bad and good ways to deal with it.
There are many unhealthy ways to deal with conflict. Attacking your mate is obviously one of the bad ways. You can attack your partner verbally or non-verbally. Shouting or screaming, mocking them or treating them with disdain are some of the biggest relationship killers.
However, there are several things you can do when conflict arises that are healthy. First, you can take a few deep breathes and notice your reactions. One common reaction to conflict is to revert tot he emotional age of an eight year old.
While breathing, also see if you can notice that conflict causes crappy behavior. Crying, screaming, withdrawing, insulting each other. But the crappy conduct only last a few minutes in most cases. See if you can stop taking it so personally.
One powerful thing you can do is to keep the argument from getting too heated. Disarm and de-escalate it. You might say that you need some time to get yourself under control, then leave the room for a few minutes. When you come back, you will both be likely to talk in a more civil manner.
Another thing is to not withdraw affection. Don’t be punitive and withhold touching and caressing from your partner because you are in conflict. The withdrawal of affection is an unhealthy way to deal with conflict. It can be seen as manipulative and punitive.
Arguments will happen between any two healthy adults. If you can take some time, calm down, then reconnect with your mate and show some affection, it is a healthy way to get through a challenging time. Don’t wait for your mate to reconnect after an argument. Don’t let the bitterness linger.
There is a lot more to dealing with conflict in a healthy way, but these things are a good start. It may take months or years to master any of them, but you should have lots of opportunities to practice.







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