Hints For How To Live Happily With Your Russian Wife
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Preparing to live happily with your Russian wife needs to be added to your list of things to do. You have already worked your way through the wedding preparations, the travel and visa requirements and the final vows. Now it is time to make another list.
When it comes to communication, it is the areas that need refinement that can be most difficult. Your local language school, university or community college may have classes in Russian. If so, they may have someone who can advise you about these subtly questions far more successfully than a computer generated translation program. When what is said may not be exactly what is meant, a human being may very well be the answer.
They say that when you marry you get more than a husband or wife. You get all the family members. When you add in cultural differences as well then you get a double dose of possible confusion. Points of view may be very different indeed. The expectations can vary enormously as well. Flexibility will stand you in good stead when opinions differ. For every family tradition you have, she has at least as many and maybe more. Sorting out how to handle holidays along will be an exercise is open mindedness.
Anyone who moves from on place to another is apt to feel a little homesick now and then. The more miles from home, the more likely the sense of loneliness. Knowing if there is a Russian community in your area will provide one possible source of support for your wife. Often these groups have resources that can help smooth the transition from her country to yours. They also have experience in resettling themselves and may have some insights that will make easier for you both.
One resource that might be overlooked is the local religious communities. Even the smallest and most rural areas may well have a Russian language service at one of the churches. Look for Russian Orthodox, Old Believers or Christian churches that offer a Service in languages other than English. They have expertise in more than just religion, they often know where other resources can be found.
Food can form the basis of a great marriage. Exploring not only Russian or American cuisine can be a grand adventure. Certainly if you find a local store that carries some Russian brands, it will make it easier for her to fix some of her favorite foods. It would make you look very thoughtful as well if you find such a resource for her. Also be sure that you each understand any important dietary needs. No need to create your own emergency at the dining table. If borscht is not your cup of tea, maybe Thai is the answer. Or, perhaps making reservations is a way to try some new food ideas.
Kindness can help any marriage whether it is Made in America or otherwise. Agreeing to be kind first can lead to a clearer resolution of many of the problems that all husbands and wives encounter. Are you sure you know where her fears lie? Is she really comfortable with US stores, telephones, buses, driving? Because it is all so familiar to you; you may not know what presents a challenge to her. Kindness instead of laughter or raised voices goes a very long way indeed.
And last but not least patience is one of those thing we all need; married or not. Your Russian wife will need all your patience as she deals with her new situation as well as a new country and new life. Of course, she will need patience too. Maybe the whole list should go both ways. Best wishes.
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