Four Ways To Save Your Marriage
Marriage can be a very difficult thing. Some are harder than others. Perhaps it is true that some are destined to fail, but most can be saved. If both members of the marriage are willing to put in the work it is possible to repair a marriage, even one that has been badly damaged. Here are four helpful hints that may help you save your marriage.
Know What You Are Really Feeling
Everyday arguments are usually about petty things. If you dig into your feelings a bit further, you will probably discover that it was something else entirely that had angered you, the petty stuff was just an excuse to fight. You may discover that although the argument was about your spouse being inconsiderate in some way, what is really hurting you is the idea that what you want is not important to you spouse. If you discover the real reasons for your anger then you can try to fix them.
Nothing else you try will make a difference if you and your spouse are not willing to be truthful. You must be honest not only with your partner but also with yourself. Lying about what you truly feel or want will only lead to you feeling like what you need is not important. The truth may not be what your spouse wants to hear, but if you try to protect their feelings by lying, the end result will be your feelings getting hurt.
All of us make mistakes on a daily basis. Granted, some errors are larger than others, but you need to find a way to let go of the hurt and anger on a daily basis. If you allow the anger to stay it will grow. Every new mistake will build on the previous ones and soon you will spend most of your time angry. It is very hard to reconcile your differences if you are angry all of the time.
Find A Good Counselor
Like all the other suggestions, this will only work if both spouse go into it with the right attitude. If one spouse has been forced to attend, they are unlikely to listen to what the counselor has to say. If you are both willing to try, then the counselor can provide unbiased advice and listen to both sides without judgement.
If both you and your spouse are willing to put in the hard work, it is almost always possible to save your marriage. Remember the good times and that may give you the incentive to find them again.