Can Couples Counseling Or Therapy Help Save Your Relationship?
Are you looking for a therapist because you’re in a marriage that feels dead or seems to provide nothing but irritation and anger?
Few experiences are more distressing than choosing to share a lifetime with someone only to find out later that you’re unable to interact with them in a good manner.
If you feel like your significant other isn’t the person you fell in love with; when it seems the communication gap between you widens daily; when it feels like your marriage is past assistance upon discovering infidelity… you’re likely to start to feel that it’s too late to try something to preserve your relationship and restore the love you once shared.
However, since you’re reading this article, it’s likely you still care enough about your partner and your relationship to want to help it in any way you can. If so, your relationship is definitely worth saving, and should be given a chance to succeed.
Couples counseling and psychotherapy can help you regain the trust and intimacy your relationship once enjoyed. Couples therapy can offer a protected place plus the skills and tools that you’ll need to provide your marriage a possibility of succeeding. Couples counseling can help you and your partner:
Put an end to endless arguments
Overcome previous injuries and unpleasant memories
Overcome variations in parenting techniques
Improve your intimacy and sex life
Heal from an affair
Grow closer together
Take an enthusiastic, involved, and interested part in the life you’ve built together
When thinking about couples counseling and therapy, it’s not at all uncommon to question if going to a marriage therapist will actually help.
With this in mind, in recent years research has been undertaken to determine the effectiveness of couples therapy.
In an article produced by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, clients of marriage and family therapists in fifteen states noted their experiences with couples counseling. The findings indicate that marriage and family therapists can successfully treat many types of couples problems in a relatively short time and that patient results and satisfaction levels are quite high.
Most couples counselors would agree that a couple’s motivation to make their relationship work is the single most important factor in determining the success of couples counseling. It’s unlikely that even the best couples therapist will be able to save a relationship in which one partner has already decided to leave, and even a mediocre couples therapist is likely to help a couple who are utterly committed to making their relationship work.
Which couples make the most of couples therapy? Other than those who’re ready to do whatever it takes, the answer appears to be comparatively young, non-sexist couples who are still in love and want to be honest and genuine with one another.
What sort of couples don’t benefit from couples therapy? Couples therapy appears to be less successful for couples who hold out excessively before trying to find professional assistance, and/or where one partner is already set on leaving and is closed to any guidance which could salvage the relationship.
That having been said, if you and your partner are serious about creating the best relationship possible, couples counseling and couples therapy can provide a safe space to explore your relationship, help you uncover and overcome the destructive patterns in your interactions with one another, and provide you communication tools and skills to restore trust, build intimacy, and rediscover the joy, surprise, and closeness in your relationship.
Martin Baker is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Clara, CA, where he specializes in providing relationship counseling.
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