All About Marriage Conflicts
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A marriage conflict can be defined as the interpersonal process that happens when the actions of one of the partner creates unhappiness to the other partner. Conflict is usually triggered by unpleasant comment or action originating from a partner that hurts the other partner.
Conflicts occur when one of the partners feels that his or her right to decide is taken away or when one of the partners judgment is not valued or acted upon. Conflicts also occur when one partner is hurt by the other and retaliates,or perceives a threat to his or her prestige.
It may be said that conflicts are not only challenges to the relationship but also opportunities to strengthen the relationship. It may also be said that to a degree conflicts do play a positive role in strengthening the relationship. Conflicts help the couple to grow together when they try to resolve the conflict in a constructive way. As in any relationship,conflicts in marriage are the norm rather than exception. A marriage relationship without any conflict leads to boredom and dissatisfaction.
Conflicts may be triggered by unreasonable demands,criticism,rebuff and cumulative dissatisfaction and anger. Unreasonable demands are those that are made by one partner on the other that cause dissatisfaction and even hurt to the other partner. Criticism by one partner about the other partner is taken as demeaning and offending by the other partner and may lead to retaliation or withdrawal.
A rebuff is felt when one partner does not react or respond in a way desirable to the other partner who feels insulted and unhappy. Cumulative annoyance occurs when certain unpleasant words or acts are tolerated or ignored until it reaches a threshold beyond which the cumulative anger explodes leading to conflict.
Once the conflict starts,they may either be resolved or escalated. If the conflict has to be resolved,direct negotiation is the key. Each partner states his or her position and both work towards conflict resolution till a solution acceptable to both partners is reached.
During conflict escalation,heated exchanges follow to aggravate the problem further. Each partner sticks to his or her stand and is not willing to budge. Heated exchanges rarely resolve any conflict especially when insults or physical abuse happen.
It is better to resolve conflicts as soon as they occur. Unresolved conflicts have the potential to cause break up of the marriage relationship itself. Some people ignore conflicts thinking that they would vanish in due course,only to regret it later.
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